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I woke up 32 today

I woke up in my bed in Mladosot 1A a neighborhood in Sofia, Bulgaria this morning and I found myself thinking about how lucky I am.  I know that I’ve said this before but really, I am so lucky.

This is the fifth time I’ve had a birthday in Bulgaria. I am 32 and living abroad. I’m teaching high school English, traveling and (more or less these days) writing about it. I’m living an adventure but after five years abroad, it’s become the normal and sometimes I forget what an incredible thing it is to move abroad, to learn (or try to) the language, and to make a foreign city home.

I am not one to worry about my age but it does seem like time flies by more quickly these days.

For example, I surprised a student of mine recently. We were talking informally about rereading books. I was saying that I don’t love rereading books  because I already know what happens but that I think it’s important to do because it helps you better understand a book and because it reminds you of who you were when you read the book the first time and what you cared about then. She told me that she like rereading the books because it brings her closer to the characters. (What a beautiful thing to say.) Then I told her that I was thinking about taking up a serious rereading project this fall.

I told her that I had all of the novels that I read college as part of my English major and that this fallI was thinking about chronicling my experience rereading them, paying a careful attention to my notes and marginalia. She was encouraging and then I told her it would be especially interesting because I graduated from college in 2003 and now that it’s 2013 it hss been 10+ years since I’d read many of the books.

This student looked at me and said: What?! No. You’re 30? Me: And then some.

It was so cute. She just kept saying, I can’t believe you’re not in your twenties and I kept assuring her that I was in my thirties. In a culture that values youth, there’s something nice about being mistaken for being younger than you are.

But truth be told, I’m happy being 32. I can’t think of any year I’d be willing to give up from my life to be younger.

While it is bittersweet that this is my last birthday in Bulgaria (at least for a while I assume), I couldn’t be happier to be celebrating 32 here in Sofia.

I’m getting ready to leave for Cyprus in a couple of hours. We’ve got a six day holiday in Bulgaria thanks to Easter and St George’s Day. I couldn’t be happier. The holiday started on Wednesday but flights were much better today.

Anyhow, the weather is Cyprus is supposed to be excellent and I’ve got some books that I’ve been dying to read.

We’re going to rent a car to check out the island and for easier mobility over a holiday weekend–Orthodox Easter. The only thing is that Cyprus follows the British mode of driving. I’ll be driving on the “wrong” side of the road and when I am driving I’ll be on the “wrong” side of the car. Oh my. Good thing we rented an automatic.

Wish me luck!!

This past week I logged lots of extra hours at work.

On Wednesday my club Mock Trial presented a case and I was there until 6 pm. Thursday we had parent-teacher conferences and I was there until 8:15 pm. Friday morning I got up and I was back at school by 7:40. Normally I am at school a little earlier–say 7:30 am–but really, who can keep that up? I was even at 7:40 am I was back at school less 12 hours after I’d left.  Friday I got my bag and locked up my classroom at 8:30 pm after watching our annual English-language musical.

Phew. 

I am ready for the weekend. It’s a beautiful day in Sofia.

Unfortunately, I’ve spent a large part of it cleaning my apartment. It’s been getting less and less clean all week. These things happen after logging too many hours at work. Anyhow, now my clothes are clean and folded. My dishes are washed. My bathroom is clean and the sun is shining through all of the windows of my apartment.

It’s wonderful.

Tonight I am heading to a birthday party for a friend and colleague. It’s a big one for it him–it’s one of the ones that ends in a zero. He and his wife are throwing a BBQ at their on campus apartment. It really couldn’t be a better day for a BBQ and a beer (or two).

Banking with Bulbank

I lost my Bulgarian debt card, um, a long time ago. I canceled it as soon as I knew it was gone but it’s taken me an embarrassingly long time to replace it. It’s been so long I don’t even want to say how long it’s been. For those of you now dying of curiosity, think months.

I’ve put off doing it for a lot of different reasons and truth be told none of which are really that good. Here they are: I was annoyed with myself that I lost it. I’ve been busy at work. I’ve been traveling. Bank hours aren’t very convenient. There’s not a branch close to work (and by that I really mean between my apartment and school). I thought it was going to be annoying and hard because I don’t know any banking vocabulary and because I hate Bulgarian bureaucracy.

Turns out it was none of these things.

Today after school I marched over to Business Park to the Bulbank branch there. This didn’t take me more than 15 minutes. Sure I snuck out the side gate rather the front gate but nobody seemed to care.

I found the Bulbank branch pretty easily.

What amazed me most was the customer service at this branch. Sure the space is lovely and modern but it was the customer service that wowed me. You get a ticket (or in my case a girl who works at the bank helps you get a ticket and then explains all of the following to you in  English), you wait for your desk number to appear on a screen, you go to that window and they help you. There are no lines to stand in and no one can cut you in line.

That last bit is my favorite. No one can cut you in line. (Ha, take that Bulgarian line-cutters!)

I was in and out in 10 minutes. Okay the girl who actually waited on me was kind of surly but I think this may have been because her English wasn’t very good and so when I switched into Bulgarian for her she seemed relieved. And I think, that she might have smiled at me on my way out.

I topped the whole outing off with a Subway sandwich. Good thinking Business Park. I’ve often wondered why there wasn’t a Subway in Business Park and now there is.

Now all I have to do is to remember to pick up my card!!

Spring in Sofia

I think it’s finally safe to say that spring is here in Sofia.
spring in bulgaria
I know because:

  1. I can’t stop sneezing.
  2. I no longer need to wear my winter coat.
  3. There are strawberries in the grocery store.
  4. I wore my ballerina flats to work all of last week without socks. Okay, sure a little old baba at the bus stop heckled me in Bulgarian for not wearing better footwear but these things happen. I smiled at her told her I didn’t speak Bulgarian and she told me the whole thing again, slower, while pointing at my feet.
  5. I hate all of the clothes in my closet and want to throw away all of my sweaters.
  6. I never want to look at my boots again.
  7. I smile every time I put on my lightweight rain coat. Remind me of this later when I am complaining about wearing raincoats.
  8. The heat was finally turned off in my classroom. I no longer have to strip down to my tank-top in the mornings upon unlocking my classroom.
  9. There are flowers coming out of the earth. Out of the earth!!
  10. Martenitsi are hung all over Sofia.

At school this week, I was contacted by a Bulgarian tv station NOVA tv for an interview. Every so often this happens to me. This time one of the afternoon tv talk shows wanted to interview me about the bombings at the Boston marathon.

The day I was contacted (Tuesday) I was teaching all morning and my contact information on this blog is pretty limited so the producer of the program contacted ACS’s PR office. By lunch time, the program had become desperate to talk to me about whether or not I’d do the interview.

At this point, I knew about the bombings. I’d gone to be the night before having just read about them and I’d woken up to slightly more information about them on the major news outlets in the States. This said, I didn’t know what I’d be able to add to a conversation or discussion about the bombings.

Still I took the call and the conversation went something like this:

  • Me: Hello?
  • Producer: Hello. You are Carolyn?
  • Me: Yes.
  • Producer, now in Bulgarian: we want to interview you.
  • Me, in Bulgarian: Okay.
  • Producer, in Bulgarian: We want to interview you about the bombings in Boston.
  • Me, in Bulgarian: My Bulgarian isn’t good. I don’t know enough words.
  • Producer, in Bulgarian: Oh. Are you sure?
  • Me, in Bulgarian: Yes.
  • Producer, in Bulgarian: Okay. Thanks.

I hung up inordinately proud of myself. I hate speaking Bulgarian on the phone. I often get confused (and/or nervous) and then I don’t understand what’s going on. I was super proud–I had a conversation in Bulgarian, on the phone.

Sure I’d turned down the interview but I’d done it in Bulgarian.

Then for about 30 seconds I felt bad that my Bulgarian isn’t good enough to discuss current events like this. Thirty seconds later, I was struck by the thought: maybe I’d be able to if there were a chapter on terrorism in any of my Bulgarian text books. Then I realized: luckily there’s not. Of all of the things I’ve learned in my Bulgarian texts books there’s on terrorism. It’s not a part of daily life nor the larger culture and as such, not a topic that I am able to discuss in Bulgarian. I simply don’t have the requisite vocabulary.

I wish that we didn’t need a vocabulary or a lexicon for these things in any language.

I’ve been surprised and saddened by events this week. I haven’t really known what to make of the bombings or the subsequent pursuit of the two accused. I’ve found myself strangely drawn to these events and the way they’ve been covered. So much so I’ve spent time in the last week reading the New York Times, the Washington Post and the Huffington Post as well as social watching CNN (something I never do).

Living in Bulgaria, I felt strangely removed from the events yet unable to look away.

The whole thing got me thinking about what it means to be a modern immigrant in the United States and how complicated it is to navigate these issues of integration, assimilation, alienation and marginalization. I also started reading (finally) Josip Novakovich’s book Shopping for a Better Country and I added Let our fame be great: journeys among the defiant people of the Caucasus by journalist   Oliver Bullough to my to-read list.

I don’t feel like I have anything smart, unique or frankly even very interesting to say about these events. Ultimately the events of the past week reminded me that life is tenuous and precious and my heart breaks that we, as people, ever feel the need to resort to these kinds of violence.

A Long Good-bye

The longer you live abroad the harder it is to imagine your life at home. That is until one day it isn’t so hard.

It started for me this past summer. I went home for my brother’s wedding and I experience my first twinge of what if. What if I lived closer to home? What if I missed out on this? What if something happened to my parents? What if, what if, what if.

Then I returned to Sofia in August and the what-ifs went away. I was back in my Mladost apartment. I was in my classroom teaching once again. I had a routine. I was surrounded by my friend in a life had created for myself and I went on dates with my boyfriend. I was back in Sofia.

This was year five and I’d found my stride.

My Bulgarian was better than ever. I knew the city well enough to navigate the city center map-less. I had broad spectrum of friends and I was having a great time in Sofia, in Bulgaria and traveling in Europe.

Then because of the crazy hiring schedule of international schools after Thanksgiving, I was asked what my plans were for the next year. I was offered a contract for the 2013-14 school year but I was asked to decide before Christmas. I promptly broke my hand. So I asked for an extension which I was given.

But the what if’s came back.  Continue Reading »

I think that spring is going to find us in Sofia sooner than later. Yesterday, it snowed. Today it’s sunny but cold.  Overall we’ve had much, much less snow this year than past years but it’s remained colder longer. In the past I’ve been able to switch over to a lighter weight coat in March but this year I’m still switching back and forth between my two winter coats.

It’s been a strange few months in Bulgaria. After a series of protests (some of them violent) in February, the government (unexpectedly) resigned resulting in the formation of a care-taker government and the elections which had once been scheduled for July have moved moved up to May.

At the same time there have been an alarming number of self-immolation cases in Bulgaria over the past two months. This has been much more upsetting to me than the resignation of the government.

In the past week or so, Foreign Policy ran a piece titled: Self-immolation isn’t as new as you think in Bulgaria. This article outlined two things. Bulgaria is second only to the Netherlands in average cases of self-immolation each year in Europe but only 1/3 of Bulgaria’s cases are related to mental illness and this is the lowest correlation in Europe. Thus most of Bulgaria’s cases of self-immolation are a form of political protest.

Not to be left behind the Economist also ran an article on the intersection of poverty, protest and self-immolation in Bulgaria. This piece led with the fact that:

Six people have set themselves on fire in Bulgaria in less than a month. Three have died.

I read this line a few times. It’s hard for me to understand the kind of desperation, frustration and helplessness that leads to self-immolation.

I don’t know how to reconcile this with my experience in Sofia. I don’t know what this increase of cases says about life in Bulgaria. I don’t know how to make sense of any of this.

I wonder if things will look better in spring. I wonder if the up-tick in self-immolation will fall off. I wonder if the upcoming elections will change anything. But mostly I wonder: how did things get so bad?

Mtel and Me

I don’t love Mtel but they happened to be the closest cellphone shop when I first moved to Sofia so by default they became my company. This said, I am not sure if I could choose all over again who I’d go with. So maybe it doesn’t matter.

I’ve had a prepaid phone for the last 4.5 years. At one point I thought about switching over to a plan but the expiration date on my Bulgarian ID card prevented this from happening. I moped around for a day or two. Okay maybe three and then I gave up caring.

Most months I pay about 10 leva to make calls and send text messages. This seems totally okay with me. I like that I can just pay upfront, make the calls that I need and then a few months later pay again.

On Monday, I had to recharge my phone as I was totally out of credit to make calls or to text message. This is annoying but the only person I have to blame is me. The funny thing is, because Bulgaria is awesome–at least in this respect–I could still get calls and text messages. I just couldn’t make any of my own.

So I stopped by Mtel while I was out running some other errands. I hardly had to wait in line and things were relatively quick. This isn’t always the case.

Anyhow, for the first time ever I had the sales girl really press me to switch to a 12.99 monthly leva plan. I said no. I said I didn’t understand. I said that I didn’t want it. She just wasn’t taking no for an answer. She told me about free calls to five Mtel customers this month. That’s when I realized none of my friends us Mtel. She told me other things too. I just smiled at her and said no thanks.

I don’t think that she understood why I wasn’t interested in switching.

First, I just don’t think she understood that on average I pay less a month than the plan she was pushing. Then there’s the fact that I  made no attempt to explain to her in Bulgarian that I don’t really like Mtel but that  stick with it because I am too lazy to switch (and I am semi-convinced that all cell phone companies are basically the same). Oh and there’s the fact that I finally memorized my number and I don’t want to switch to another company and learn another number. That sounds horrible to me.

So that’s that. Same phone number, same company, same general dislike of Mtel–just not enough to make some kind of a change.

I  wonder, if you were new in Sofia and could choose any phone company which one would you pick?

+Tova and Graphitine

I had the day off work today because on Sunday morning we administered the ACS entrance exam. As one of my ever positive colleagues said on Friday afternoon: it’s like we have a two and half day weekend!! Still it wasn’t easy to get out of bed on Sunday morning in order to drag myself to school.

Anyhow things were much better this morning. I rolled out of bed at 7:30 am and snuggled up on my couch with a cup of coffee and caught up on some tv shows.

Then at 10 am I went to Kalo for a haircut. I walked out feeling like a new person. Seriously, haircuts are the best. I didn’t even care when snow flakes started falling from the sky this afternoon.

After my haircut, I met my friend A. at +tova for coffee and we then spent a lot of time oh-ing and ah-ing over a lot of the design work there. We both bought tote bags from Graphitine (a tote was 30 leva). Then we looked at decorative throw pillow cases made by Graphitine.

The pillows were seriously cute and we both spent some time debating how many pillow cases we were “allowed” to buy. Only it turned out that the pillow cases were much, much to expensive for me to consider spending money on. They were exorbitantly expensive at something like 74 leva (for the pillow cases with gold print) and 49 leva (for those with black print).

I have almost never felt like something was too expensive for me to buy in Bulgaria but I realized that I am more often than not the exception to the rule given the fact I’m an expat. This said, I just about choked with the sales girl/barista told me the price of the pillow cases. A. and I exchanged looks and we both returned the pillow cases we’d been considering. They were cute but really, who’s buying these pillow cases at these prices? I quickly un-imagined them on sofa.

Hope that you all had a great day! Sorry I forgot to take a single photo today.

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